Tips and Tricks

Half Birthdays?


by Skip Cohen

It’s Sunday morning, and I couldn’t be more off-track from business and marketing. I’m not sure where my topic today would fall, but it’s between admiration and sarcasm. So, consider yourself warned.

The topic is Publix Supermarkets…I consider the staff at our local Publix #1639 completely “top-shelf”. It’s a smaller store filled with the most wonderful group. They’ve only been open a few years, but they’re just a mile from our house and they never miss a day. They got us through the pandemic, a hurricane, and the craziness of day-in-day-out living. They never do anything halfway and have supported the community with the same dedication of first-responders.

When the pandemic hit, I did all the shopping because I had fewer issues should I get Covid than my wife. So, no big deal – I’d shop early in the morning. I got to know the store, the inventory, and all the staff. From Nancy, “Boston,” “Colonel Bill,” Tony, Jack and the list goes on and on – It’s simply a great team.

Now, let’s move to their marketing department and wrap it up with one bizarre product.

Yesterday I got an email congratulating me on my “Half-Birthday.” Entering my phone number at checkout, I’ll get a container of their frozen yogurt or a cake. While it’s a nice gesture, at some point in our lives, we reach an age where we don’t need to be reminded that time isn’t slowing down! And if I’m trying to watch my sugar, which also goes with aging – don’t give me a free cake.

I don’t want to celebrate my half-birthday, let alone even know about it! LOL If anything, give me senior parking like Walmart in Bozeman…or just send me a note wishing me a great holiday season and a certificate for a fully loaded death-defying, artery clogging, Italian sub.


But here’s one more great mystery from Publix…my favorite Thanksgiving feast is a leftover sandwich. It starts with the cheapest white bread, then turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and mayonnaise on both pieces of bread. My wife is Celiac, so there’s no gluten in the house except for my loaf of bread.

The loaf from a year ago is still perfectly fine – no mold, and it’s not stale. It’s been in the back corner of the pantry. It was never frozen, and it looks just fine. So, that leaves me wondering how much preservatives go into a loaf of Publix-branded bread. The expiration date is December 2021!

So, whatever is in the bread, I’m suggesting to Publix they bottle it and, for my half-birthday, give me a spoon or two of the amazing elixir and help me slow down the aging process. They say a Twinkie is good for 100 years…we’ll let’s add Publix bread to the list and then bring the chemistry into our own lives. Ron Woods doesn’t have to be the only one to have chemistry in his veins! 

Remember, I warned you when this post started!

Wishing you a fantastic day ahead – not just a great day, but one of those where you crawl into bed at night and just say, “Wow!” Make some memories, do a little shopping for the holidays, and think about all the people in your life who you love and who love you! Most important of all, think about the ingredients that went into that smile on your face. 

​Happy Sunday…or Monday on the other side of the world.

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